Take Care of your Inner Child
- iammenow
- Dec 6, 2023
- 6 min read
Have you ever seen this kind of scenario: mother and few years old walking on a street, mother is holding kids’ hand, kid is having sort of a tantrum, is crying, crying so much that can’t catch a breath, is pulling down mums hand to slow her down but keeps trying to walk. Mother is walking a little bit too fast for those little kids legs, but she is not stopping, she keeps going. From time to time her little one manages to escape his/her little hand and that give a time to stop, to mumble something, to catch the breath. Mother is coming back telling something to a kid grabbing baby hand and keep going. She is in rush. They are probably late whenever they need to be so mother is ignoring little kid needs just keeps going… Maybe they left home late because little kid was sulky, slowly or totally disrupted by surrounded world, being in romantic baby mood. Maybe they wake up later than they planned or maybe it is some sort of emergency call… you are not going to find it out because it is not important what is important is how it makes you feel. I would like you to look at your emotions when you see this scenario. How do you feel? What do you feel? Are you doing something? Anything? Or you just let go and ignore that thinking ‘oh common everybody had those moments in life with their kids, kids are like that’. Does not matter how you react you know that this is not pleasant neither for mum not for kid.
What if I tell you that this story may be about you. About your inner child that is inside you and the other part of you that is keep pushing although it is too much, too fast, and too exhausting.
We all have these parts of us within us – those parts of our personalities. Crying, slow and lost – ourselves that were perfectly fine to show and to express when we were kids but when we are older it is not right to be like that.
All especially social media world is telling us to be strong. More, faster, better are values that are being promoted nowadays. There are lots of courses, blogs, news feeds that are telling us how we should behave, how we should be – without even knowing us.
When I see those feeds when the author is telling I tell you what you are doing wrong’ I am feeling how inner anger grows inside me. My respond to it is ‘and who are you to tell me I am doing something wrong without even seeing how I am doing it and without even knowing me.’
We are unique, we are individuals, and we should treat ourselves like that.
Coming back to our mother and kid story. Sometimes we are treating ourselves like this mother. We do not respect who we are what we need and how much we can do but we keep pushing and pushing until we can’t catch the breath. We are building internal conflict. Deep, deep under the skin in our hearts we do not like ourselves for being so hard so restless, but we keep saying to ourselves that we need to make a progress, we need to push.
My personal answer is not so straight forward. Yes – progress is good but not for the price of upsetting our little inner child that we should take care of. If we give a care, understanding and love to ourselves, this little kid will grow one day, become stronger and return love and understanding to us. We will feel good with ourselves because we will know that we are living in harmony with ourselves respecting our needs and limitations. Maybe one day this kid will walk faster without stressing and without crying maybe cooperate with mother so she can leave house earlier and they both can walk in the proper speed. One day when their needs will be met and someone listen.
If only we look at our inner kid face and ask his/her – ‘how are you feeling today? What are your needs?’ we already feel the differences. We may feel fulfilled and loved.
If we need to do something and someone demands something from us that is too much it is worth to ask for more time, more space more support before we upset and drain ourselves. That is only us to know how fast we can walk and what support we need. There are not many people that will do it for us and to be honest might be that we will not find even single one that may realise that the pressure is too high.
You may ask yourself - How does it refer to my Yoga class. It is not only referring to Yoga class but to entire life.
One of the universal principles of Yoga is Ahimsa which means non-violence. You may want to find more about yoga principles, if you have heard that, by studying Limbs of Yoga. that I will not talk about it here just gently touch the one subject.
I want to talk about Ahimsa. We are trying not to be violent towards other humans, animals and plants but very often we do not apply the same rules to ourselves. that is absolutely normal because this is our human nature. I am not only talking about physical violence but also emotional. How often have we been battered/ing ourselves because we did something wrong, said sometimes stupid or made a mistake? Our inner voice – inner ‘teacher’ is preaching us constantly. We need to better, faster more…’blah blah blah’ without rights to mistake. Constantly comparing ourselves to others. Asking for promotions, approval, and score. I agree it is nice to get a good score but what if we do not get a good score because the speed is too fast for us. What if we need to rest. what if we want to stop to catch the breath, to get energy and enjoy the walk, enjoy the nature and just be instead of rushing? We are running on spare batteries very often. We do not want to waste a time. Focusing on results rather that on process is very exhausting and upsetting.
From my recent observations from Yoga teacher perspective, I Can’t really understand and have to say it loud: What is the ‘Yoga challenge’? Why? Yoga is a process, lifestyle, our time for ourselves with ourselves, it is a journey to our inner child and also dialogue with inner mother that is rushing and worrying all the time.
I saw many times students that trying so hard to come into the asana that they are losing the joy of yoga. Had been asking many times how can I do this or that asana and get results faster. The ability of doing/coming into certain asana can come one day or may never come. They may feel guilty that they can’t do some poses. If only they stop and ask the inner kid: ‘how are you today? They may feel that kid is in a romantic mood or want to giggle instead of being serious or maybe what to be very serious and focused. They should let this kid just be.
Yoga classes are for you to open this dialog with your inner child. To be good for yourself, to give understanding and love and be playful poses if you want to. It is not any type of challenge it is not a competition; you do not need to make a progress, just do yoga as long as you enjoy the process. This is your time to stop, to listen to breath and to immerse into your feeling of your body. I know you can do it just be good for yourself. You are not violent to kids and others so do not be violent to your inner kid, to yourself.
You can come to my class and be yourself. Be the best version of yourself, the version you always wanted to be because it is truly you with all colours of your character and unique personality- because it is truly yourself. There is no room at my class for any judgmental thoughts, for any kind of scoring and absolutely no for any challenge.
If you think yoga is not for you than it is also absolutely right just be good for yourself and that opens new perspectives then you open your eyes and even rainy days will be sunny for you.
Namaste – I see good within you
Daria from 'I am me now Yoga'
Comments